Patrick ♥ .

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SiEn here. 16 now. Single and crushing . Enough said . :)

Saturday, August 31, 2013

FML.

So basically this year sucks , ALOT. 
And by a lot , i mean really a lot. 
Broke up, one sided, betrayals, friendship problems, studies problems . whatever so ever.
Eh i mean like , come on la. Think about it . 
When you're at the lowest point of your life , you think that no one cares about you .
And when someone told you he would stay despite of you saying ' If you have no plans to stay, don't ' . Yup, he said it, he WOULD stay . But he left , kinda cute isn't it ? (': . 
Somemore right, it's from a person you trust the most . Oh my tian, hurts like a fucker isn't it ? 
You're already THAT sad from some things, and then your freaking crush gave you hopes. 
Yup , high hopes. And then, he threw you down from a fucking Himalayes Mountain . 
Wa damn pain i tell you, and it's like a very crucial part of your life that you can't afford to lose focus because your freaking major exams is around the freaking corner . 
THEN HOW SIA ? 
Ignore lor, suck thumb lor . Treat that that person didn't even freaking enter your life before. 
Which is freaking damn damn damn damn impossible la ? 
Oh what to do ? N o t h i n g . 

` Then , friendship problem . 
Wa this ah, to me damn hardcore sia . 
It's like that someone ah, just angry you because you put the picture with him for your header, and mention him on your bio. Then he angry. Okay lah, maybe it's your fault for not asking for his permission and just anyhow put here put there then he angry. But seriously, your friendship just freaking ends just because of this . Not ranting i swear. To whomever who is mutual friends between me and him right. Don't tell him about this. :/ .  And right, i'm super duper affected by this i don't know why. Maybe I personally really treasure this friendship a lot la , then like suddenly like that jiu will sad lor. I tried avoiding him and stuff but it always fail so terribly . I'll always end up seeing him or what so ever and always not willing to face my problems and turn back and quickly walk away . Yup, i cried for this friendship before. Because i cherish it a lot even though we weren't that close. At least every friendship has its own worth remembering memories and incident . This friendship ain't a exception. We laughed a lot la, at least i remembered i laughed a lot. Always disturbing him in school . But then now, it turned out to be ' Always avoiding him in school ' kind of thing, you get what i mean ? So it isn't really as simple as you think normal friendship problems would be like . If we could be back to friends right, i would be the happiest girl in the world :B . tatataa . But of course i know, I don't deserve to be his friends la . Haha, it's like his friends is those atas level of human . All those girl friends are those pretty pretty kind. And i'm like a freaking vase . If you get what i mean. So i'm like stuck in between those ' used to be good friends ' and ' strangers ' kind of level you know ?? So it's like , if he's happy then good , but if he's not then i'll be praying for him la! :B . How good am I man. HAHA . You know those girls that look at handsome guys from behind ? Ya i'm those girls. haha, eh he quite handsome okay ! But then, ahya. Since he's good with his life now then don't interrupt lor right ? Interrupt other people life no good okay, even though i'm good at it. HAHAHA. okay whatever . 
I'm done now , tata x  .

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Nobody cares.

Wow , when was this huh ... 
Helloooo , 
It's been ages since i update my blog. 
Anybody misses me ? ^-^ . 
I don't think anybody does, wellls....... 
So basically i'm having my prelims now, and N level is cominggg. ahyo . >< 
OH YAAAA , BEFORE I FORGET . 
` H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y B E S T F R I E N D ; JARICKCHINGWEIJUN. insertmillionofheart- 
If you're ever curious how cute he is .. 
Hello hello , you're featured . :B . 
Happybirthday lovelovelovelovelovelove -insertbillionsheart- 
Shan't repeat what i'hv said to you, yknow i know yaaaa. ;)
Should copy what i've wrote on insta to here . Since i've done it twice. sosososo it's like 40 ...... 
1. I'm 16 this year ( 9th Of June is my birthday ) 
2. I'm standing tall at 169cm . 
3. I'm a paranoid & insecure girl . 
4. I love my juniors like JiaYi & Nicole & ahem they all uh . :B 
5. I hate studying .
6. I have a crush on someone .
7. The one i love don't love me ,
8. I love hamsters . ( Because people says i look like one )
9. I often cry myself to sleep . 
10. I have a girl soulmate .
11. Szehan is that soulmate.
12. I love to take pictures even though i'm ugly T_T . 
13. I LOVE horror movies but I'm always afraid . 
14. Lens is important to me . 
15 . I want to go to Paris .
16. My fav cartoon is Spongebob & Hamtaro . 
17. I love to mingle around with my juniors. 
18. I think i have no talent .
19.I find looks isn't really important for finding a partner . 
20. I can't live without emo songs. 

21. This picture is a very overdue-d one . ^^ 
22. A lot of strangers says we're couples but we're just bestf, (oh is that a good thing? ^^ )
23. I hate SocialStudies & Maths . 
24. I love Chinese ,
25. I love Chinese songs. 
26. I like Gongcha.
27. I love food even though i'm picky .
28. I find minions cute.
29. My fav fruit is mangooooo  .
30. I love TOP & GD.
31. A lot of people say my face didn't change from young. 
32. I don't know what else to say .... 
33. I love my friends in class.
34. My stomach hurts , (that was yesterday.. )
35. I don't like fake friends, in fact. I hate them . 
36. I'm single mingle .
37. I find basketballer attractive. ( Because my ex-eyecandy is a basketballer)
38. I love RaymondLam.
39. Self esteem automatically goes down to the drain when i see pretty girls. 
40. & I'm done. :B  .
Do you know me more through all thisssss? :B yayyyy , 

ps. i hate faking smiles to you. But i have to , 
Your ' don't sad , if not i'll be sad too ' . I hope that's real .
I know you're in love with the another girl i can't replace no matter how hard i tried. 
But the point now, i love you and i'm hurt. I need you and i want you 
When i know i can't , it sucks a lot. Why must you do this to me  ? 
Crying for you twice already , we talk like best friends. We are best friends.
But why are we so awkward towards each other when we face one another ? 
I cried because i'm not good enough , i cried because i can't be yours no matter how hard i try. This isn't easy for a girl who went through so much heart breaks and she fell in love again.