Insecureness.

To my guy up there ; 
I know it's wrong to feel this way . it's my fault . i know . i'm sorry.
You know, i can't control you. you can ran away when i can't hold you back .
You know this feeling sucks ? 
You know i wished for a lot of things, every single minute , it's about you ? 
You know that, although i know 11.11 is a lie, but i chose to believe it because of you .
You know that, i'm having this feeling, because of you . because i loved you too much. 
I may cry a lot, my attitude may sucks a lot. i may hit you a lot .. 
But i didn't want to .. actually. i thought .. you'll be happy.. 
But you don't.. i'm very sorry..
I know you could choose better.. but maybe you choose me because you pity i no people want ? haha . maybe bah . (': .. 
I wish, you'll be mine forever.. just wishing.. just hoping.. just wanting.. 
i'll love you longer than you. ♥

4th day ...

` Hellohello. ^^ , i'm currently at Shihui's house . :3 . 
She doesn't like english songs.. WHY , it's so nice you know . ): 
Love songs are meaning full . example ; A THOUSAND YEARS .
Yay ! ^^ . i love that song :B . 
Chinese song also don't like. Only like kpop . tsk , as if you understand the language ! :B . 
Nevermind ~ . School was awesome . hah ! ^^ . I failed massrun . LOL .
As long im with my friends . I DON'T MIND . ^^ 
Hmm , went to causeway with Kelly and friends after remedial ~ ^^ . 
So far so good ? heheees. byebye ^^ 
' It's the 4th day already. how are you there i wonder.. :3 , having fun i guess ? .. 
10 more days till you're backk.. i miss you haobuhao ! ): . 
Hehe. hope you takecare. loveyou . ♥. 
10 more days to 3rd month and his arrival ! ♥ . 

Life ♥

Topic is about life . 
Life is full of bitches, backstabbers, heartbreaks, flirters, two-faced. ALL sorts of people.
Teenagers life . STRESS. Studies. Exam. Test. BGR. Friends problem . Family problem. 
BGR ; Heartbreaks. Tears. Sadness. Short-period of happiness. Breakups . Lonliness. 
Love is basically scary. Scarier than scary . I'm scared of love actually . Never once, i have a sweet love. presents . NEVER. Until this relationship . sweet ♥. haha . okay . back to topic . 
I once trusted love. but what to boys gave me. fucking shit. I don't deserve to be treated like this.But .. too bad . ALL boys are the same i can say . Single isn't that bad at all . 
No need to suffer tears, heartbreaks, breakups.
Alrights. done with love. 
Studies ; Stress. Exam. Test. Homeworks. 
Basically , i hate studying. I hate test. I HATE exam. I hate everything that concern to books.
I'm scared of exams, test. Marks. Failure. I know there won't be success everytime .
But .. i'm just scared of losing . Studying, there are way hard to me . 
I'm not a kind that read books. It's not my cup of tea. But studying is a must right . 
So no choice . But i'm the kind that when i see books, i'll sleep. School always take our money, and we don't have air con in our classes. while others don't take money from their student , and have air con in their classes . UNFAIR. Hmm. gambatte . 
Friends ; Yes , you may have hundreds of friends . but who may be your true friend ? 
We may not need a lot of friends. sometimes, we just need ONE . To be there for us, no matter what. not abandoning us when we need them the most, or when we are in trouble . If they run away. and escape . they are not our true friends. True friends are those who will be with you . and fight for your rights. Company you when you're at the most down moments. company you to crazy and stuff . awesome right . We don't to know them for a very long time to be best friends and true friends actually . but you got to know them well . That is what friends are for . 
Family ; Yeah . they may be naggy , but they are caring for us . They work for money . For us . Yes. I may be disrespecting them. for those who know me, i may be giving them attitude . But i wanted to respect them. but i can't . i don't know why . i just can't . I can't say a thank you to them when they helped me to do something . sometimes i can. but mostly i can't . I can't . I will throw temper at them . like a small spoilt kid . frankly speaking . i do love them a lot . they are my own parents . my mother loved me the most . and i do love her the most too ! ♥ . She dotes me a lot . She know i dislike my father. she will ask him to keep quiet and stop saying when he is nagging me . fantastic ! ^^ . Gonna save some money and buy my lens ! 
IM DONE WITH LIFE. :3 
Soooooo .... 

When boys remember the first day you two started talking.

When boys treat you like you're HIS princess.

When boys WANT people to know they're in a relationship with you. ♥

When boys take naps with you.

When boys make you laugh over the phone.

When boys smile at you and you instantly forget about ALL your problems and smile too. ♥

When boys take a long time to say goodbye to you cause they don't wanna go. ♥

When boys share everything with you and there is no secrets or lies in your relationship.

When boys are there for you, when no one else is. ♥

When boys can make you laugh when you wanna cry. ❤

When boys let sluts know they're taken and not interested in cheating.

When boys wrap their arms around you and make you feel warm. ♥

When boys give you playful kisses that make you smile.

When boys let you fall asleep in their arms.

When boys play guitar and sing to you. ♥

When boys are the first ones to text you 'Good morning <3'. . 

Credits to Sshiminie ! :3 . 

* HINTHINT AH . :3 . baby , please do all of the above :B 

#Oneinthemilion. ♥

Hellooo ! ♥  . 
TGIF k . ♥  . It's friday the 13th . bad luck ?  who says . 
I had lots of fun today :B . But... so what if it's friday. im not happy at all . 
He is leaving tomorrow.. and coming back only on the 28th... )': . 
I'll miss himmmm . )': . Hmm , so yeah . school is fine ? 
Kelly and Jolene went to bugis after school, so they never join us . :/ 
Went studying with HaoWen, Andy, Easter, Shiddiqah and Saidaaah . ♥ ♥  .
Did english. the find the meaning want yknow ? hehe. ^^ 
Took pictures in rp ! ^^ . miss my rp dudes. ANDY . Y U GO N1 ?! ): 
Hmm , pictures are in my album named . RPPPPPPPPPPPP ~! ♥  . 
Took a few onlyy . Paiseh :B . 
After a while . Played TrueOrDare. ^^ . funfunfunfun . 
Thenn . Calvin and baby came. ♥  , then went to slackkie with them. 
Easter they all went home i think ? (: . 
Slackked. ohmygod. Baby damn funny only . Stevenlim + BruceLee = jokes. 
Laughed like mad only please. 
Baby, i can't promise you to laugh like this everyday. because you know i know i can't .
But i'll promise you to wait for you and love you. okeh ? ♥  . 
Iloveyou ! :3 ♥  . 
1 more day to his leaving . )': 
15 more days to our 3rdmonth . ♥  .

2012 \♥/.

I know it's quite late to post about 2012 now. because it's the 11th day of 366 :/  .
Well .. school sucks as usual. cca too . joining back to cca , yay -.- . 
I'm just earning cca points dude . when that teacher tell me that , if you don't come for cca.
the points that you come for sec1 and 2 will be cancelled . wtf ? -.- . at least i got come k . 
Sec3 so busy , i'm tired after the day of school and you asked me to go to cca ?! 
You mad bro ? Yeah . basically . 2012 SUCKS A LOT . 
I thought it will be muchmuchmuch better than 2011 seriously. but thinking about it . my thought was wrong. 
2011 rocks more, i swear . even though 2011 have a lot of r/s problem .
Heartbreak problem. study problem. but i think, no matter what it still rocks. 
No physics , no social studies , no chem.  No extra subjects and more difficult subject . ain't that good ? 
why add so many difficult things. Haiz, this is life right. facing lots of difficulties . 
I wannna rewind time! 
3 more days to baby going overseas. )))): 
17 more days to 3rd month \♥/ . loveeeeeyaa :3 . 
True love doesn't have happy ending, because true love doesn't end. 
I know i fail in appearance and attitude , but i have the courage to love. 
Love needs a big courage, i dare to love, dare to get hurt. But i need a long time to mend my wound . this is life . (: , face it! it's GIRLSLIFE. 

I got balls of steel. ♥

W/ loves.

Oh. Hai. 
Today was okay. and tomorrow is ... FRIDAY ! Ohyeah .
Thank fucking god it's friday. ♥ . 
Mothertongue. i brought my text books ! hehe ^^ . 
Mad heavy bag today. H A I Y O . 
Physics, Math, Geography, Chinese, >>> fucking heavy . at least 3 kg -_- .
Studied today . Wrote my journal . 
' I almost retained Sec2 last year. I failed almost all subjects and only passed 2. 
I think it's because i kept playing and did not study. 
I ignored my parents nagging and advises when they asked me to study. 
I didn't study . i slept in class during lessons. played the computer everyday after school.
When i saw the results in my report book. i was disappointed. i didn't expect this. 
Only 2 subject passed. Seeing my friends all say' Wah! luckily i can go to sec3 . yay! ' 
I regretted for not studying. I'll start to study hard now. 
Because teachers say if you don't build your foundation well in sec3 . You'll be struggling in Sec4. ' . 
Quite long laa. but i forgot some.  about like this ! 
Yeah. i'll study :) . 
Met baby just now . waited him for.. 30mins or so ? ._. 
He went to the wrong block so yeahh ~ ...
Play with him a while . then go meet haowen . 
cb, he ask us meet him to see them eat only -.- .
Then brought starbucks and went back to the block ! ♥ ,
Bite each other. painpain bodoh . got blueblack liao ! ): 
My lips bleed just now. he say one ._. . you bite fucking hard please ): 
He slept a while just now ~ . HE LIE DAO SIBEI SHUANG LOR HIS POSITION . LOLOL .
I wanted to wake him up because i realize my phone was missinggg ._. 
Then he didn't wake up . kwtf. Then i told him . he say ' oh, it's in my pocket ' -_- . 
YOU SCARE ME YOU STUPID HAMSTER ): ♥ . 
Then i go homee . :3 . k bye.
IT'S FRIDAY TOMORROW. YAY ! ♥ . 
It's so fucking fluffleh i'm gonnaaa die . :3 

HEYYO . SCHOOL SUCKS.

Hello everybodyyy ~ ♥ 

I KNOW MY BLOG VERY DEAD LAA. :/ 

Soooo .. i'll say something about SCHOOL. 

S C H O O L S U C K S . 

No lie . sucks sucks sucks.

School prove those who is excited for school. W R O N G. 

Sucks like crap please. 

I hate physics. because i don't understand at all . -.- 

The teachers sucks . everything sucks. 

Instrument i don't know. -_- . God damn it seriously . 

Math is okay , but my love to math was spolit just now. 

Charlotte told me the next chapter we learning is algebra . 

FUCK ? -.- .  K. mood spoilt. ): 

But nevermind. i'll study . I will prove those who look down at me .

HO SI EN CAN STUDY HOR. 

Algebra only mah. Numbers only mah .

Remember formula jiu easy liao right ? I believe myself. (:

Sec3 is the hardest year :/ 

Everybody say , sec3 fail means sec4 cmi ... 

Study hard la HoSiEn . please ah please. DON'T retain ._. . 

 -stress-.

Common test is coming in april ? 

Mid year . before june holidays .

Common test 2 is sept .. 

End of year is october . 

So fast manzxc .___.

Studies. either you make me love you .

Or let your question be easier . 

Teachers. either you make your lesson more interesting .

Or you add marks into my exam scores. 

Looking forward to March holidays . June holidays .

AND APRIL . ♥ 

Ahemahem . ♥ . :B 

April and June. better be goooooood okay . 

My teacher say 250111. cannot fight or argue.

Because if we fight/argue . we will argue/fight for the WHOLE year. 

Kelian ~ Then teacher say , don't fight with your love ones.. 

Who is my love one ... 

Hmmmm.. Eh , ownself think is my love one de hor . 

Don't argue with me on that date la k . AUTO A BIT . :3 

#tumblr .

Yeap. Please , fight for me .

Yes. I wanna marry you .. can I ? 

Kisses are sweeet. i want some :B . can I ? ♥

Yay ! ♥ . 

I'll cherish you, hold you. love you, ♥ . 

You're mine. 

Yes. I really hate it . All those fucking negative i have been thinking.

It's killing me inside . I can't it anymore. 

Not even a min more. This feeling is fucking scary . 

I don't want to live with this kind of feelings anymore . 

Nobody know how exactly how i feel .. sucks huh ? 

I just want someone to cure this feeling .

I can't breathe anymore . This kills. A L O T .

Lastforever is better than lastlong. #justsaying.

You'll never know what am i thinking. because .. i don't know too. 

Random title for today. LOLOL .
Firstly , happy new year ! 2012 le lehhh \m/ .
Sorry so long never touch my blog . due to my laziness as per normal. :b 
Countdown with some of my awesomest. ♥
- Waiwan, Calvin, Jasmine, Waiwan's friend, Haowen, Karen. and last but not least . my baby Alex ♥ .
It's 3.15am now and my baby just went to bed. goodnights and loveyou baby ♥ . 
Soooooo . 
Home -> met baby -> met haowen -> fuchun cc's kfc -> cab to baby's house -> waterfront -> causeway -> baby's house -> uncle raymond's house -> homesweethome. 
` Busy day today.  SEE I GO SO MANY PLACE. :B. 
Firstly . met baby .. he was just at the staircase beside the lift waiting for me. so no need say. :B . after that met Haowen. he actually say meet in front of Siling primary de lor. then i and baby walk there. he talk to me la. but i saw alot of red car plates. i hit him :b. but i got listen to what he's saying laa. then waited in front of siling primary. he hit him damn lot of times man. what revenge . /: . then for some reason idk what. Haowen say meet at 366 ? so we went to met him ~ he wear dao very 'formal' today. wanted to go shengsiong. so walked there. (: . after that. was tired and went to fuchun cc's kfc. brought milo and chatted abit there. then cab to baby's house. slacked and stuff. fun la. burned my hand with the lighter . clumsy SiEn. LOL. Was burning the straws la. then played bubbles outside baby's house. After that . Calvin came. then Haowen and baby was hungry . so i and baby cooked noodles for them. yummmmeh. Then baby made Milo for me. so god damn nice please. love it :b ♥ . Baby, can make give me again ? (: . Then Karen came. ^^ . ohyaa. Haowen and Karen patched. lastforever ! ♥ . Then walked to waterfront. ^^ . it was so pitching dark and so god damn scary ): . go there for a while only. Then walked to causeway. Haowen and Calvin went to settle somethings with Charlotte. and i was not allowed to go ):< . so i went to buy things with baby and Karen. 
Funny . At first we can't find the tibits section. Then went we found it. we don't know what to buy. Then in the end anyhow take. water section also. Actually buying juice . But don't know what juice to buy. so buy grape and a don't know what drink. after that bussed  back to baby house with Karen. chatted a while when Calvin came back with Haowen and Waiwan and Waiwan's friend. (: . laughed a lot . then go walkwalk when Jasmine arrived. Got kissed by Alex's mother. /: . I NOT LESBIAN. ): . Laughed a lot eh. went back to his house for countdown. first 11.11 with him. first countdown with him ♥ . then Haowen and  baby played the gassy drink . run here and there in the end tio kp. /: . talked with baby, while the others is in the house .. cried luh . first time cried in front of baby . Then is like ohmygod so xiasuey that time. Can't control my tears already... Tears rolling down.. It isn't you treat me no good. You didn't bully me. You don't have to think so much.. it's all my fault. I'm too weak.. I'm not good at hiding my feelings..  I can't control my emotion well.. I'm not a good girlfriend. I'm sorry. But in my heart. Most important de . Is you. You stand at least 98% of my heart and 10000000% of my love life. 2% of friends and family la. Don't so jijiao k. :b . I won't forget today. Everyday with you is so memorable. It's worth to be remembered . I love you . And i totally mean it. I won't deny and I won't be shy to say it out. Because i really do. I dare to tell you that my other steads. I won't tell them i love you directly. willingly . without them asking me to . You're the first one. happy ? :B . 
Iloveyou and i mean it. okay, i swear. i'll cherish you foreve and always. 281011 forever ♥